Tomorrow is the big day, everybody. Wish me luck! Thought I would repost, even though it’s not so terribly old…
I get it! I get it. You want me to work out. And by “you” I mean every person that has been sending emails, facebook advertisements, Groupon and livingsocial deals inviting me to run, play, jump and climb on various types of courses and equipment. And you found your target audience– yay you! The only way you’re going to get me to join any exercising event is by adding tons of toys and costumes that deflect from the fact that I will be in agony and misery and sweating my ass off while surrounded by hundreds of people I have never met and the ones of people I actually know that I could con into joining me! The Bubble Run, Zombie Run, Color Run, Neon Run, Blacklight Run, Meet Me on Mars Run, Cannonball Run (just kidding), Run like a Pirate, Hug a Runner Run, Dirty Girl Mud Run, Spaceballs! Dark Helmut 5k and 10k, Super Hero 5k, Coyote Chase 5k, Big Gay 5k, Ugly Sweater 5k, Ninja Virtual 5k, Underwearness—Drop Your Drawers and Run Wild 5k, and the Beer Relay (where people run and drink in 90 degree heat) are all legitimate events in and around Denver. Honestly, they all sound like a freaking blast and most of them are created as fundraisers for various causes but I know they’re all just a ploy to get me to peel myself off of my couch and do something active with my body.
And they got me. I received the email this morning reminding me that I was crazy enough to sign up for the Warrior Dash this year. Mud, fire, ropes and wooden logs—ah, how I have missed you so (ehh). I signed up in January and I knew the event was just sitting there waiting for me to acknowledge it, but I was letting it wait and simmer for a few months as my motivation for getting in shape this summer. (You’ve all seen my picture by now—you can see how well it worked.) I would get to it when I was good and ready. Then February turned into March and the most exercise I did was getting up to get the heavy blanket to cover myself while I watched the last episodes of Glee (sniff). I did manage to get off my duff and exercise March through June and I was feeling supercharged, until I discovered the joy of blogging and doing nothing but writing in my free time, so now I’m as in shape as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. After the initial feeling of panic the email brought me, I realized that I have a good solid month to work up to what is arguably the hardest physical challenge I have ever volunteered to take on.
I did my first Warrior Dash two years ago when I was seduced by the fact that I was at my lowest weight (in a really long time) and I was feeling pretty amazing. I could do anything and apparently I WOULD do anything. My hubby and one of my best friends joined me and we kicked that course’s ass. Well, more like kicked it in the knee, but we made it! My time was horrendous and I got freaking tired of all of the “elite” runners bitching because I was crawling through the metal tunnel with mud and sharp pebbles grinding into my knees too slowly and they were losing time, but I completed every obstacle. I still have the medal for participation tucked away in a safe place and I pull it out once in a while to look at it and remember when…
Well, mostly I remember the ten pounds of mud that packed itself into my underwear after I dove into the mud pit and the pain in my knees and my inability to walk for the next two days because I failed to stretch when I finished the course (I’m an idiot, I know) but there’s also the good stuff, too. Like, being with my favorite people while being cheered on by spectators and finishing the run so early in the morning that we still had access to fairly warm water when we hit the communal showers. Plus, I got a cool furry hat with horns and a t-shirt that I could wear around for the rest of my life that would show off how awesome I am and how lazy everyone else is. Bonus!
However, I was not really chomping at the bit to repeat the experience. I bowed out of last year’s race and opted to spend time with my son doing a one mile run for kids. I was thrilled to not have muddy underwear, but I wasn’t exactly home free—this small event had a slide that ended in a pool of slime. I have now had unusual substances where they ought not to be and I truly question my sanity each and every time I end up in this predicament. Sigh. The things I do for love.
Greg managed to get a few more friends and family members to join him last year and I heard they had a really great time. They all came down from the mountain (our Warrior Dash is at Copper) with a million plans for this year and a desire for me to join them. I hemmed and hawed as long as I could but I knew that I really wanted to join in. I also knew that I wasn’t even remotely ready, but, no problem, I could train and lose weight at the same time.
Which brings me back to today and my panic at seeing the reminder email. I have not trained. I have not mentally prepared and I have not really thought about what the course is going to be like for me this year. I haven’t done shit. But, I still hope. I hope that I can find clothes that I don’t mind ruining as I slog through the mud. I hope that the course isn’t new and improved and bigger and badder than it was before and I hope that I actually remember to stretch when the damn thing is over. (I can’t wait. Really.)
I don’t know if I will ever do another Warrior Dash after this, but I do know that I am watching and reading all of those advertisements and invitations to run and play. I have already signed up for Warrior Dash lite- otherwise known as the Dirty Girl Mud Run, but I’m not sure it counts as an actual run. It’s more like social hour with a couple of activities thrown in (totally my style of exercise) but it is a lot of fun. I have also been eyeing that Bubble Run and that Neon Run but, seriously, I need to figure out how much those things will cut into my television and writing time. I have priorities, you know. It’s a whole fun, crazy active world out there and I appreciate the interest in making me a healthier person—all except for you, Zombie Run, you can suck it.
© DRB 2015
a funny thing happened when I was learning myself 
I’ve wanted to do a warrior dash, but felt a bit intimidated. You’ve inspired me to give it a go (maybe next year), except for the mud underwear part;-). I suppose I should thank you in advance since that is one of those things no one else would probably tell me about!
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Best of luck! You are crazy but amazing! 🙂
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I finished the race today and did all of obstacles (with a little help from my friends). I will be updating when I’m not so completely exhausted! Thank you so much.
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I’ve been wanting to do the Warrior Dash for a while now. Maybe next year, but then again I say that every year. Good Luck and have a blast! 🙂
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I think you should try it at least once. They say it’s a 5k but ours was barely hitting the 3 mile mark. It was hard (since we are right next to a mountain) but really fun! I will update my adventures soon, when I’m not too tired!
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Good luck! I did the Donut Dash this year….great fun!
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Is that really a thing? What do you do in that run? I picture you wearing a fishing pole with a donut hanging in front of your face to keep you running. Ha!
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HAHA no. It was a regular 5K with donuts at the end. And a dude ran with us who was dressed up as a donut. (He survived. Somehow.)
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The run sounds fun for everyone but Donut Man!
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I’m sure it’s motivating. Like the proverbial mailman and dog! Chomp.
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Those runs sound really fun, I mean, like the idea of them. I am totally the kind of person who would sign up and be really excited about it, and imagine myself as a running god-like warrior/zombie/pirate. But after signing up I would pretty much dread it until it actually happened, and then I would probably just convince myself I was too sick or that my ankle felt swollen or something to avoid actually participating. Your writing is totally kick-ass, great post!
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Oh, I have actually done that to myself. Then when I didn’t go I felt really bad about the money I wasted. Hopefully you will give one a try because they are so fun. People are usually pretty nice and then you get some cool swag to show off to all of your friends! Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it.
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This is totally awesome! I am waiting to have a little extra money to sign up for these types of runs, but I feel the same way. This is the way you get me out there: making it a distraction… Good for you!
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They really are a lot of fun. If you can get someone to go with you it’s even better!
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My goal while lived in Colorado was to do the MS 150 bike race. Haven’t been on a bicycle since I met my first curb face first the first weekend away at college back in 1991! Caps on my 2 front teeth, damaged my nasal septum, and had to be admitted to the emergency room to stop the blood loss.
Unfortunately, was only 17 years old. Was unable to be admitted without my mother’s signature. She was over 6 hours away! They faxed the paper work to our farm’s office and finally got me admitted. So the goal ended up being a LONG shot.
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Oh man! I swear that I have pain in my mouth. Yeah, I would walk away from the bike for a while, too! Wow, this imag is going to
be hard to get out of my head. So sorry that happened to you. Thanks for sharing.
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Love your writing style and look forward to see your book published! I also wanted to be a writer (my dream when I was deciding which career should I follow) but I went for the secure path, and enter to engineering…but passions are passions and here I am at Blogging 101 class…:)
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Thank you for following. I think it is really great that you are starting a blog. I have only done it for a month and a co-worker told me he thought I was much happier and almost a different person. Maybe it’s because I am finally finding the courage to do what I want. I hope it goes the same for you!
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I’ve really recently started running, and I’m terrified of people seeing me do it. Still, my little sister and my boyfriend both want me to do a Color Run with them, so I’ll just have to get over it. Thanks for sharing and helping me get motivated!
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Yes, give it a try! Everyone is so involved with their own little groups that they won’t be paying attention to see how you do during the race. I did the Color Run a year or two ago and I barely ran 1/3 of it. The people throwing the colors were very supportive and nudged me into smiling once in a while! If you do it I hope you have the best time!
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It is important to warm up after your exercises, but it is even more so important to warm up before any of your exercises especially since you are not frequently active.
Anyway, about your writing style, I find it fun and somewhat introspective, and it gives the impression that you are in heated dialogue with your ‘inner-self’.
Thumps up for your drive and your resilience.
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I like the way that sounds. I am always trying to understand the person in my head! Thank you for reading and I promise I will be stretching before and after I exercise!
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Good luck and have a great run! There is a Mudrella near us and a local town hosts a “Muddler” to benefit vets that I hope to do…sometime. I’m super pregnant this year and not running at all…not even for the Popsicles that are sustaining me through this hot, terrible time of year. So I will run with you in spirit from VA!
Happy trails! 🙂
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Thank you! I will probably have something to post about my “race.”
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I look forward to reading about it! Good luck and have fun!
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Thank you!
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This was very entertaining to read. Thanks for the laughs. I also need to get off the couch and keep moving.
Maybe if I had bought a more uncomfortable couch…
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Thank you! I still question my sanity about doing the race again, but it’s always fun to hang out with my friends.
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You have a fun way of writing.
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Thank you so much. And thank you for reading!
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Thank you. I really just try to write what I hear in my head! It’s crazy in there.
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very interesting experience!!
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It is very dirty and cumbersome, but so much fun.
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Yes I am sure!
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It actually sounds like a blast! The most important thing is to have fun, and the way you describe it, it sounds like a great time! Well, other than the 10 pounds of mud in who knows where! 😉
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Hmm… Don’t you think that instead of doing some crazy, strenuous stuff that you join once a year or so you could do something easier, but that you could do on a daily basis? The human body was designed to be in constant movement. Our modern life has brought so many health problems! There’s this old man in my neighborhood who walks – kind of jogs in his own way – who’s been more inspiring to me than these crazy marathon people. He’s really old and slow, but he’s there every day! If I feel lazy sometimes, it’s his image that comes to my mind, not of athletes! And nobody can give you the determination to work out diligently. Only you can. It’s iur responsibility with our bodies, with our kids and society. The world does not need stiff people, it does not need more people on disability because they have neglected their health. There’s actually no elevators to success, just stairs… Long ones…
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I completely agree with you. I aim to exercise every day but it doesn’t happen. But I am in it for long term health. I just think these are fun because they give more of an incentive to get in shape and a day to look forward to. I guess I find it an alternative way of hanging with like-minded people. Then everyone drinks beer!
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you are brave, brave, brave. Love it. Great Blog today, hope your day is awesome!
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Thank you! I had a pretty good day yesterday. I really like doing things with my friends that are away from the kitchen table and the living room couches, and these exercise events help with that a lot. If I can get my friends to commit, that is.
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We did kick that course’s ass! And you know what? I’m doing it again this year. Have I trained? Not really…. But I would do it with you again in a heartbeat. Because it doesn’t matter how fast we finish, it that we DO finish. And really, you’ve done better than me on that course. If I remember correctly, you went over the giant wall; who was the pussy the last two years (Raises Hand)?
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Love you, Kelly! Okay, we kicked it’s ass! We are going to have so much fun.
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