I am re-posting this in honor of a friend that passed away 24 years ago today. I miss her much.
I wasn’t supposed to be there. As I looked through glass into the cluttered, yet sterile, room it was a fact that was amplified a million-fold. It was a place for big dreamers and people that didn’t know the meaning of the word no. A place of unknown possibilities and limitless power. I was afraid of it all and yet there was no way I could stay away. What a marvelous, terrifying, unbelievable creation of imagination and it was only five short steps away. My body shivered with suppressed emotion. A miracle, that’s what it was. They said that it would work and that there was very minimal chance of failure. Professor Watkins swore that he tested it himself, but I don’t know for sure. Very few people were allowed in here that day two weeks ago. I’ve studied his face many times since then trying to find a glimmer of a changed man–only not really knowing what I was looking for. A new cockiness? A wistfulness? A newfound enthusiasm for his life’s work? I saw none of those, but if I really made an effort I could see a tinge of sadness coloring his every move. There must be a certain headiness, knowing that you have power over all things. I imagine there must be at least one moment of feeling unworthy (and perhaps a little terror over being in over your head) but then I suppose it would be easy to justify playing with time—playing with lives. To change that one moment. To take that other path. To warn that one person… And it is all right there, right in front of me. Can I handle the responsibility? I like to think so. I don’t feel unhappy with my life and I have no desire to change it, but this moment has never been about me. Five steps and I could right a wrong. Stop a tragedy. Save my friend. Nineteen is just too damn young to die. Her possibilities gone. Her dreams exterminated. How could I not try? I’ve thought little about consequences because what do they mean to me when I can be the hero? When I can stop the pain? My body declares the final verdict when my foot moves towards the door. Three steps. Two. I take a deep breath, and embrace the power. (393) © DRB 2015 Want to comment?