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Sometimes Learning Myself Kind of Sucked

My parents loved to go on vacation without me.  Okay, I don’t know if love is the right word, but I don’t think they particularly missed me very much.   Back when there was still a gaggle of us rapscallions around, the road trip was THE thing to do during summer vacations.  The time honored tradition of shoving everything we owned into a small vehicle that we would then spend hours upon hours in was important in our household (and it was a good way to shut us up about being bored and tired of playing outside all the time). I…

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Supermarket Diaries Part Two: Panties and Purple Pants

Catch the first part of the story here: Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time Grocery cart firmly in tow, I was ready to plunder the rest of the sale racks in the store. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but I was convinced that if I left without spending some money I was probably going to die. I worked my way to the fat (but not that fat) section and found what I had apparently been waiting for—racks and racks of pants. Dozens—nay, hundreds—of pairs of pants (my personal shopping nemesis) in every conceivable color (okay, maybe only…

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The Great Head Debate

Get your mind out of the gutter, people.  (Okay, me too, because I totally went there.)  Anyway, I thought it was high time to take a moment to look back on what has to be one of the most egregious gaffes I ever had to endure as a child.  A mistake so large that I still find the time to bitch about it at least once a year (as I have for 30 plus years now) to the person most responsible for my broken heart—my mother (cue the bloodcurdling scream and the dun, dun, duuuuun)! What could possibly bring out…

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Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time

Okay, so I have this thing where if I have even twenty minutes to spare before I’m expected at work I head to the supermarket. But not just any average supermarket—I’m talking the deluxe version with sushi near one side of the building and a jewelry store near the other. Apparently there is something in my DNA that requires that I find something completely useless to buy every day to give my life validity. I’ve walked out with nothing (not that I didn’t try) and I’ve walked out with two bags filled of 80% off holiday items that I will…

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Pay it Forward Died with Me

Before I get too deep into the nitty gritty of this story I want to make it clear that I am not a bad person—for at least 96.2% of the time. That other 3.8% consists of a couple of things that I will just never share (and is the biggest reason why I resist trying any kind of hypnotherapy) and a few things that just make me feel like an utter asshole. I just want that bigger number to be known before I cop to something that has kind of led me down a shame spiral lately. No, I didn’t…

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A Jumbled Mass of Emotions

My friend. I see you and what you are going through and I want to say that I am so terribly sorry. It’s only been a few days and I feel that you must be getting tired of hearing that. I don’t want to frustrate you or cause you any pain but I need to say a few things in order to get on with my own existence after something like this. Before I get too far though, I just want to let you know that I don’t know what is going to come down from my brain and into…

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It’s Not You. It’s Me.

I didn’t walk with you today. I probably won’t walk with you tomorrow either. It was lovely while it lasted, but there isn’t a need in my soul anymore. But, I want you to know that it isn’t you—it’s me. I convinced myself that it would be cold and windy and probably snowy, so I stayed away. I told myself that it would just be making myself miserable. I found a reason to stay home. But then the sun came out and made everything so gorgeous and inviting and I thought about how much I miss you. I could feel…

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Love Gesture or Torture?

My hubby is the best gift giver in the entire universe. Seriously. Sometimes I find myself moaning and groaning about the fact that he isn’t present in the moment (because he’s usually doing something annoying like working from home so that he can earn money to give people those gifts) but he always surprises me with home much he really is paying attention. Back in the Middle Ages when we were living together in sin (about one year pre-marriage vows) he gave me a super deluxe hair dryer for Valentine’s Day. I think I might have even got some super-fast…

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June 11, 2015

Originally posted on Chloeheart's Anecdotes:
It was the last day of school. She saw him at the lockers as she was getting all of her books. She saw him smile at her and he started to approach her. She averted her gaze and focused on getting all of her stuff. “Hey,” he said. “Hey,” she said without looking at him. “Let’s go home together,” he said. “S-sure,” she stuttered. “Good. I’ll wait for you outside,” he said and then he walked away. She stared at him as he walked. She wondered why he suddenly asked her to go with…

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I Knew He Loved Me (Conclusion)

Don’t forget the first part of the story: I Knew He Loved Me  This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you that he had scribbled all over the paper doodling my name and drawing pictures of us holding hands, but that dream was pretty much the complete opposite of what I found.  There were doodles all right, but not with my name– with another girl’s name. A girl from our class that I had never even seen him talk to—let alone ever imagined he would ever have feelings for.  There were doodles all right.  And there were about fifty different…

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I Knew He Loved Me

He was the nicest boy I had ever met.  He was handsome and smart, but most important of all, he would talk to me.   We met in middle school and I was pretty much smitten from the very start.  I can’t remember the exact day we came into first contact, but I do remember practically floating on a cloud whenever he came around me.  I would try to sit by him in class, in the cafeteria, in the gymnasium, in the…you get the picture.  Unfortunately, I was mired in my own insecurity issues and feelings of inadequacy (thank you tween…