I lost my dad. He died on New Year’s Eve. I miss him every day. It happened so very fast. I can still hear his voice. I miss him always trying to feed me. I wish we could just sit and talk about anything–even if it means he ends up being right. I keep expecting him to get out of his chair and give me a kiss every time I go to the house. I wish I could have known him when he was younger. I wish I appreciated him more when I was growing up. I wish he would…
I’m fine. I’m just fine. Lying in bed before starting the day: I want to write. I want to be known. I want to be creative. I want to share. I want to love. I want to bond. Taking a shower: But I don’t want to spend time writing. I don’t like people to look at me. Being creative is difficult. I don’t like it when I share something and people don’t like it. I am too selfish to love fully. I like it when I get to be by myself. Cleaning the restroom for the five millionth time: I…
It has officially been eight weeks of staying (relatively) away from the life I used to know and I think that (at this moment) I’m getting the hang of it. If you’ve been a follower of my corona virus themed posts you will know that I have not even remotely kept up my end of the bargain as far as all the writing I was promising you–the writing I was promising me. Some days I don’t give a flying fart and then other days I feel guilty and lazy for not taking advantage of all of the “free” time I…
I think I lost my kid. At last sighting he was running to the bathroom for a mandated “we’re pretending to have a life” session of washing his face and brushing his teeth and hair but I haven’t seen him since. I imagine he’s holed up downstairs trading virtual Pokemon with any person with a pulse or settled into the couch, knee deep into today’s brain suck of YouTube videos. I feel kind of like a loser, knowing that I have left my kid to his own devices lately, but what the hell? Kid is “enjoying” his last day of…
It was a beautiful moment. Me, alone in my Mulan t-shirt (no jacket covering it since no one was around to see my arms), my favorite sweats, a couple of toothbrushes, and a can of Comet. The bright light of the vanity stretched to the bathtub only to be blocked my enormous dirty hair bun as I tried to scrub the grime out of faded bathtub caulk. The dirt flowed down the inside of the tub in a wave pattern that could only be accurately compared to the sand of a beautiful beach in Mexico–ebbing and flowing it’s way back…
I admit that I’m probably more scared about the Covid-19 virus than many people (finding things to stress about is a personal specialty) and I’m really having a hard time dealing with the strain. Not only do I have to worry about my health and the health of my loved ones, but I also have to suddenly be responsible for meals and education and (gasp!) boredom. Don’t get me wrong–I deal with this stuff on a daily basis–but it has never been to starkly obvious to me that I am now the HBIC. My library has told me to stay…
My life has been taken over by an affliction so frustrating, so annoying and so ridiculous that I am putting in serious time thinking about how to cure myself once and for all. The crazy thing is– I cannot turn my head to the right. Really. Oh, I’m not suffering from any kind of real physical problems (as far as I know) but I do have this way of thinking that causes me to react to certain situations in such a way that I am sure I end up looking like one of those city park sprinklers that keep click,…
Catch up with parts one-nine of my Disney Adventures here. Prepared to live out an afternoon of Disney doom and gloom (yet still secretly holding out hope that we might get some sweet fastpasses out of the inconvenience) another transportation employee jumped on the bus to save the day. Still not sure on what the problem was, but two seconds of pumping the gas and turning the key and he had us back on the road and ready to go. I kissed my thoughts of an extra Soarin’ pass goodbye. As we wove our way through the mousetrap (ha) that…
Now that I’m a lot older and I’ve managed to get myself through many a ridiculous situation, I find myself thinking back on the “good old days.” You know, they days when my parents would let me roam around like a wild animal for hours at a time, hanging with God knew who, doing who knows what. Until this moment, I never really thought about why the parental units were more than happy to let me and my siblings explore the world without their constant surveillance and direction. I’d like to think that they were exercising great parental knowledge by…
Catch up with parts one-eight of my fabulous Disney vacation here. Somehow our group found its way to a (not so hidden) door just near the Peter Pan ride. I don’t remember exactly where it was because Disney does such a good job of distraction. I can’t very well concentrate on a secret door when there a million people bobbing and weaving in front of me and the promise of the utilidor promise land dancing through my brain. I do, however, remember several employees scurrying to get out of our way as we collectively pushed our way through and in…
a funny thing happened when I was learning myself 