My, My, My, My Corona: I Wanna Dance With Somebody

It has officially been eight weeks of staying (relatively) away from the life I used to know and I think that (at this moment) I’m getting the hang of it. If you’ve been a follower of my corona virus themed posts you will know that I have not even remotely kept up my end of the bargain as far as all the writing I was promising you–the writing I was promising me. Some days I don’t give a flying fart and then other days I feel guilty and lazy for not taking advantage of all of the “free” time I…

My, My, My, My Corona: What Day Is It?

I think I lost my kid. At last sighting he was running to the bathroom for a mandated “we’re pretending to have a life” session of washing his face and brushing his teeth and hair but I haven’t seen him since. I imagine he’s holed up downstairs trading virtual Pokemon with any person with a pulse or settled into the couch, knee deep into today’s brain suck of YouTube videos. I feel kind of like a loser, knowing that I have left my kid to his own devices lately, but what the hell? Kid is “enjoying” his last day of…

My, My, My, My Corona: My, My, My, My Life is Boring

It was a beautiful moment. Me, alone in my Mulan t-shirt (no jacket covering it since no one was around to see my arms), my favorite sweats, a couple of toothbrushes, and a can of Comet. The bright light of the vanity stretched to the bathtub only to be blocked my enormous dirty hair bun as I tried to scrub the grime out of faded bathtub caulk. The dirt flowed down the inside of the tub in a wave pattern that could only be accurately compared to the sand of a beautiful beach in Mexico–ebbing and flowing it’s way back…

My, My, My, My Corona: You Might Be Asking Too Much

I admit that I’m probably more scared about the Covid-19 virus than many people (finding things to stress about is a personal specialty) and I’m really having a hard time dealing with the strain. Not only do I have to worry about my health and the health of my loved ones, but I also have to suddenly be responsible for meals and education and (gasp!) boredom. Don’t get me wrong–I deal with this stuff on a daily basis–but it has never been to starkly obvious to me that I am now the HBIC. My library has told me to stay…

I Can’t Turn My Head to the Right

My life has been taken over by an affliction so frustrating, so annoying and so ridiculous that I am putting in serious time thinking about how to cure myself once and for all. The crazy thing is– I cannot turn my head to the right. Really.  Oh, I’m not suffering from any kind of real physical problems (as far as I know) but I do have this way of thinking that causes me to react to certain situations in such a way that I am sure I end up looking like one of those city park sprinklers that keep click,…

Part Ten: Disney Killed My Love

Catch up with parts one-nine of my Disney Adventures here. Prepared to live out an afternoon of Disney doom and gloom (yet still secretly holding out hope that we might get some sweet fastpasses out of the inconvenience) another transportation employee jumped on the bus to save the day. Still not sure on what the problem was, but two seconds of pumping the gas and turning the key and he had us back on the road and ready to go. I kissed my thoughts of an extra Soarin’ pass goodbye. As we wove our way through the mousetrap (ha) that…

Part Nine: Apparently Not Everyone Appreciates a Pink Castle

Catch up with parts one-eight of my fabulous Disney vacation here. Somehow our group found its way to a (not so hidden) door just near the Peter Pan ride. I don’t remember exactly where it was because Disney does such a good job of distraction. I can’t very well concentrate on a secret door when there a million people bobbing and weaving in front of me and the promise of the utilidor promise land dancing through my brain. I do, however, remember several employees scurrying to get out of our way as we collectively pushed our way through and in…

I Knew He Loved Me

He was the nicest boy I had ever met. He was handsome and smart, but most important of all, he would talk to me. We met in middle school and I was pretty much smitten from the very start. I can’t remember the exact day we came into first contact, but I do remember practically floating on a cloud whenever he came around me. I would try to sit by him in class, in the cafeteria, in the gymnasium, in the…you get the picture. Unfortunately, I was mired in my own insecurity issues and feelings of inadequacy (thank you tween…

Part Eight: You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Hangry

Catch up with parts one-seven of my fabulous Disney vacation here. You know, it’s never an easy matter of getting from Point A to Point B—at least not for me. There’s always something to be seen, something to be done, something else, and then something else after that and I never can just seem to make that straight line. And my trip from Splash Mountain to the Tomorrowland Terrace was absolutely no different than any other example I could give you from my life. I needed to sit down and eat and everything in the world was working to prevent…

Psst…UniPerm Isn’t Code for Big Beautiful Curls

Once upon a time there was a young girl of eleven who was very impressionable and open to suggestions of all things good and bad.  She loved fairy tales and happily ever after and spent many a day and night dreaming about what life would be like in the future—would she have enough money to buy season tickets to the Denver Broncos?  Would she be beautiful and have a handsome husband?  Would she ever be elected to the Supreme Court (without having to become a lawyer and all of the pesky stuff that comes with being elected to the Supreme…