I finally wrote a blog post. (But I wasn’t terribly clever about it.) I washed the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher. (But I waited as long as I could to see if the hubby would do it first.) I fed the dog. (But he decided to fast that day.) I walked the dog. (But he was mad at me because it wasn’t longer.) I rubbed the dog’s tummy. (But I think I enjoyed it more than he did.) I walked. Inside. (But I never took my hands off the treadmill’s handlebar.) I walked. Outside. (But I only…
I don’t like looking in the mirror. Ever. I have memorized when to turn my head just slightly enough to avoid what I see there. I used to have a full-length mirror in the bedroom but it (mysteriously) died a horrific death. I’m not saying that I broke the thing on purpose, but I’m not NOT saying that I did. And I must admit, it was something that really helped ease the anxiety in my life. Not too long ago, I shared with a good friend something that happens to me every time I get up in the morning. I…
Scene 1: Driving up the road on her lunch break, our main character is contemplating the easiest way to get to her fast food burrito. She quickly calculates the time savings of taking the street nearest to the high school (even though there’s a lower speed limit) instead of the main thoroughfare (where she will most likely be met with two extra minutes of delay due to street light patterns). Without having consciously made a decision, her muscle reflex jerks the steering wheel to the right and on to the neighborhood street. She is immediately waylaid by a traffic jam…
Dear Sir, I want to thank you so much for sitting next to us at the end of the bar today. It’s usually not my favorite thing in the world when someone decides to saddle up next to me when there are literally no other people in the room. And I think what made your visit even more special was the fact that you decided to park it specifically two chairs beside me, as opposed to choosing to plop down next to the hubby (who would be happy to chat about absolutely anything). I’m really not sure what vibe I…
I wish that I could walk across the United States just once. None of that Forrest Gump back and forth bullshit for me–just one good trip to see if I could actually do it. How many miles would I be able to put in before I was ready to call a limo company and grab an air conditioned ride to the nearest town? Would I be able to triumph mind over matter when I inevitably came to the moment where I would systematically tear myself down for being the biggest loser on the planet because I forgot to bring a…
I love Halloween. I love it so much that I have no problem proclaiming it my favorite holiday of the year. It’s kind of funny how this could even be possible considering I despise fall, I don’t care for much anything flavored pumpkin, and I don’t really get much enjoyment from scary pranks or costumes. I do, however, love coming up with fun costume ideas, planning Halloween parties for my family and for the library, and going to corn mazes. When I was younger it was a hell of a lot easier for me to get in the mood for…
As I was sitting at the library letting my mind wander from the totally scintillating task of fine filing children’s drawing books, I realized that I was kind of lame and pathetic. It’s a hell of a thing when one minute you’re contemplating whether How to Draw Your Favorite Super Hero gets filed before How to Draw Your Favorite Super Hero Pet and you are hit with the overwhelming feeling of suck. (How’s that for getting to the point?) While I knew that I was a pretty decent person with a pretty decent life, I also realized that I was…
Birds suck. I don’t have any flowery way to impart that information to you other than being completely honest. I don’t like them. Well…maybe just a little bit. But they’re creepy and annoying and they stink to high hell. It’s actually kind of funny that I am sitting here even talking about the little devils, but I’ve got an itch in my brain about this and there’s no going on in life if I don’t get it scratched. And it all started because of a lunatic goose that tried to take my hand off at the lake… Every once in…
I’m fine. I’m just fine. Lying in bed before starting the day: I want to write. I want to be known. I want to be creative. I want to share. I want to love. I want to bond. Taking a shower: But I don’t want to spend time writing. I don’t like people to look at me. Being creative is difficult. I don’t like it when I share something and people don’t like it. I am too selfish to love fully. I like it when I get to be by myself. Cleaning the restroom for the five millionth time: I…
Now that I’m a lot older and I’ve managed to get myself through many a ridiculous situation, I find myself thinking back on the “good old days.” You know, they days when my parents would let me roam around like a wild animal for hours at a time, hanging with God knew who, doing who knows what. Until this moment, I never really thought about why the parental units were more than happy to let me and my siblings explore the world without their constant surveillance and direction. I’d like to think that they were exercising great parental knowledge by…
a funny thing happened when I was learning myself 