I’m Getting Too Old for This Sh*t

Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: · · · · · · · · · · 4 Comments

When the hubby asked me if I wanted to sneak out on a Sunday night to go to the concert, I was astoundingly, excitedly, extremely meh about the whole idea. It meant leaving the kid alone again (it’s beginning to become a habit and I’m starting to feel a little dirty about it) while we pretended to be cool and hip and ready to party on a whim. But I’ve been in a weird headspace since I’ve retired and I was pretty sure I could muster up the strength to roll off the couch after the sun went down. While…

Have I Become a Successful Coward?

Categories: Facing Fears · Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: · · · · · · · · · · · 4 Comments

I wish that I could walk across the United States just once. None of that Forrest Gump back and forth bullshit for me–just one good trip to see if I could actually do it. How many miles would I be able to put in before I was ready to call a limo company and grab an air conditioned ride to the nearest town? Would I be able to triumph mind over matter when I inevitably came to the moment where I would systematically tear myself down for being the biggest loser on the planet because I forgot to bring a…

Best Case or Basket Case?

Categories: Humor, Life, Observations · Mini MusingsTags: · · · · · · · · · · · 4 Comments

I’m pretty sure that I was supposed to be fantastically, amazingly happy and content the first minute of my retirement, but I’ve always been someone to completely disintegrate a perfectly happy moment for no apparent reason. I guess I thought a weight would be lifted and I’m just a little bit sad that I haven’t had that feeling just yet. I feel adrift and a bit put out to pasture—even though it was my own decision. It’s not that I’m not happy having left my life as a librarian, it’s because I don’t have a set path of “new” life…

No, You Can’t Make Me Like the Birds

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Birds suck.  I don’t have any flowery way to impart that information to you other than being completely honest.  I don’t like them.  Well…maybe just a little bit.  But they’re creepy and annoying and they stink to high hell.  It’s actually kind of funny that I am sitting here even talking about the little devils, but I’ve got an itch in my brain about this and there’s no going on in life if I don’t get it scratched. And it all started because of a lunatic goose that tried to take my hand off at the lake… Every once in…

My, My, My, My Corona: What Day Is It?

Categories: Facing Fears · Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: · · · · · · · · · · 3 Comments

I think I lost my kid. At last sighting he was running to the bathroom for a mandated “we’re pretending to have a life” session of washing his face and brushing his teeth and hair but I haven’t seen him since. I imagine he’s holed up downstairs trading virtual Pokemon with any person with a pulse or settled into the couch, knee deep into today’s brain suck of YouTube videos. I feel kind of like a loser, knowing that I have left my kid to his own devices lately, but what the hell? Kid is “enjoying” his last day of…

Mini Musings- I’m Only Doing This Because I Have To

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I haven’t been able to write much lately. Not because I don’t like writing (I don’t think) but because I’ve turned into this lazy monster that would rather spend my days lounging like Jabba the Hutt than doing anything remotely like moving forward. Wait, scratch that. I don’t think I would rather spend my days as a modern day Jabba, it’s just the way things have been turning out. Every time I manage to get something down on paper and then go through the extra steps of posting it onto my blog I feel like I have conquered Everest. I…

Pay it Forward Died with Me

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Before I get too deep into the nitty gritty of this story I want to make it clear that I am not a bad person—for at least 96.2% of the time. That other 3.8% consists of a couple of things that I will just never share (and is the biggest reason why I resist trying any kind of hypnotherapy) and a few things that just make me feel like an utter asshole. I just want that bigger number to be known before I cop to something that has kind of led me down a shame spiral lately. No, I didn’t…

I Knew He Loved Me (Conclusion)

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Don’t forget the first part of the story: I Knew He Loved Me  This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you that he had scribbled all over the paper doodling my name and drawing pictures of us holding hands, but that dream was pretty much the complete opposite of what I found.  There were doodles all right, but not with my name– with another girl’s name. A girl from our class that I had never even seen him talk to—let alone ever imagined he would ever have feelings for.  There were doodles all right.  And there were about fifty different…

The Fire or the Spiders?

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About a million years ago, when I still lived with my parents, I had a room down in the bowels of their house. It wasn’t exactly a scary place to live (Freddie Krueger wouldn’t be hanging down there at any rate) but it did sometimes have a lonely and abandoned feeling about it. Every once in a while it would explode with energy and life when we would have family parties celebrating birthdays and Super Bowls (thank you Denver Broncos!) but, for the most part, it sat lifeless and dark, just waiting for something spectacular to happen to bring it…

Autumn, How Do I Hate Thee?

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I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to handle such a delicate topic as the changing of seasons from summer to autumn. I find myself surrounded by people championing the beauty, the crispness, the, how shall I put this, the pumpkin-ness of everything. Make no mistake, it’s not easy to come clean about something that it seems everyone in the world is in love with. In fact, it’s extremely daunting. But I have words in my heart and a blog just waiting to be used. So I will. Autumn, why do I hate thee? Because you’re stealing the time…