No, You Can’t Make Me Like the Birds

Birds suck.  I don’t have any flowery way to impart that information to you other than being completely honest.  I don’t like them.  Well…maybe just a little bit.  But they’re creepy and annoying and they stink to high hell.  It’s actually kind of funny that I am sitting here even talking about the little devils, but I’ve got an itch in my brain about this and there’s no going on in life if I don’t get it scratched. And it all started because of a lunatic goose that tried to take my hand off at the lake… Every once in…

Mini Musings- I’m Only Doing This Because I Have To

I haven’t been able to write much lately. Not because I don’t like writing (I don’t think) but because I’ve turned into this lazy monster that would rather spend my days lounging like Jabba the Hutt than doing anything remotely like moving forward. Wait, scratch that. I don’t think I would rather spend my days as a modern day Jabba, it’s just the way things have been turning out. Every time I manage to get something down on paper and then go through the extra steps of posting it onto my blog I feel like I have conquered Everest. I…

Pay it Forward Died with Me

Before I get too deep into the nitty gritty of this story I want to make it clear that I am not a bad person—for at least 96.2% of the time. That other 3.8% consists of a couple of things that I will just never share (and is the biggest reason why I resist trying any kind of hypnotherapy) and a few things that just make me feel like an utter asshole. I just want that bigger number to be known before I cop to something that has kind of led me down a shame spiral lately. No, I didn’t…

I Knew He Loved Me (Conclusion)

Don’t forget the first part of the story: I Knew He Loved Me  This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you that he had scribbled all over the paper doodling my name and drawing pictures of us holding hands, but that dream was pretty much the complete opposite of what I found.  There were doodles all right, but not with my name– with another girl’s name. A girl from our class that I had never even seen him talk to—let alone ever imagined he would ever have feelings for.  There were doodles all right.  And there were about fifty different…

The Fire or the Spiders?

About a million years ago, when I still lived with my parents, I had a room down in the bowels of their house. It wasn’t exactly a scary place to live (Freddie Krueger wouldn’t be hanging down there at any rate) but it did sometimes have a lonely and abandoned feeling about it. Every once in a while it would explode with energy and life when we would have family parties celebrating birthdays and Super Bowls (thank you Denver Broncos!) but, for the most part, it sat lifeless and dark, just waiting for something spectacular to happen to bring it…

Autumn, How Do I Hate Thee?

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to handle such a delicate topic as the changing of seasons from summer to autumn. I find myself surrounded by people championing the beauty, the crispness, the, how shall I put this, the pumpkin-ness of everything. Make no mistake, it’s not easy to come clean about something that it seems everyone in the world is in love with. In fact, it’s extremely daunting. But I have words in my heart and a blog just waiting to be used. So I will. Autumn, why do I hate thee? Because you’re stealing the time…

Happy Birthday to the Bestest Kid in the World–You Complete Me

Today marks ten years since my son came physically into my life.  He had a stronghold on me way before I held him in my arms, but September 21 was the first time I could put a face to the person that until that moment I blamed for all of my personal discomfort.  He was squishy and red and looked too damn much like his dad that I was actually questioning whether he was actually mine.  He didn’t come into the world easily (I had a c-section) but I would have done it a million times more just to be able to finally…

And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Three

Continued from- And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part One And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Two Tutor was put out to the public with just a little fanfare and was instantly loved by everyone.  People wanted to hold him all of the time, but I wasn’t down for that and kept telling people “someday” he would be ready for that kind of turtle/library customer relationship.  I stressed over the tank, and the fact that I couldn’t quite get the filter to work correctly.  A once pristine tank was now cloudy and dirty and I…

And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Two

Continued from And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part One I kept putting off the final decision and was beginning to think that I might get away with not getting a library pet after all when the aforementioned friend of the library told us about a little turtle that she wasn’t going to be able to take with her when she moved to another town.  Of course, I knew nothing about turtles (and heaven forbid I actually do decent research at my place of business) but felt that it was the kind of animal I would be able…

George, Maybe It’s Better if We Just Stay Inside

For some unfathomable reason, that will be discussed and debated until I’m a million years old, the hubby and I decided to buy a house without a backyard fence.  I have always sworn that I was never going to be in a home that just anyone and their grandmother had access to, but then we stumbled upon a perfect little house that fit our personality exactly.  There was just one other problem.  Besides the not having a fence thing, there was also a very prominent “the neighbors are just fifty feet away in every direction” thing. It just so happened…