I’m Getting Too Old for This Sh*t

When the hubby asked me if I wanted to sneak out on a Sunday night to go to the concert, I was astoundingly, excitedly, extremely meh about the whole idea. It meant leaving the kid alone again (it’s beginning to become a habit and I’m starting to feel a little dirty about it) while we pretended to be cool and hip and ready to party on a whim. But I’ve been in a weird headspace since I’ve retired and I was pretty sure I could muster up the strength to roll off the couch after the sun went down. While…

Have I Become a Successful Coward?

I wish that I could walk across the United States just once. None of that Forrest Gump back and forth bullshit for me–just one good trip to see if I could actually do it. How many miles would I be able to put in before I was ready to call a limo company and grab an air conditioned ride to the nearest town? Would I be able to triumph mind over matter when I inevitably came to the moment where I would systematically tear myself down for being the biggest loser on the planet because I forgot to bring a…

No, You Can’t Make Me Like the Birds

Birds suck.  I don’t have any flowery way to impart that information to you other than being completely honest.  I don’t like them.  Well…maybe just a little bit.  But they’re creepy and annoying and they stink to high hell.  It’s actually kind of funny that I am sitting here even talking about the little devils, but I’ve got an itch in my brain about this and there’s no going on in life if I don’t get it scratched. And it all started because of a lunatic goose that tried to take my hand off at the lake… Every once in…

Mini Musings- Dad’s Not Here and it Sucks

I lost my dad. He died on New Year’s Eve. I miss him every day. It happened so very fast. I can still hear his voice. I miss him always trying to feed me. I wish we could just sit and talk about anything–even if it means he ends up being right. I keep expecting him to get out of his chair and give me a kiss every time I go to the house. I wish I could have known him when he was younger. I wish I appreciated him more when I was growing up. I wish he would…

My, My, My, My Corona: Can I Have My Brain Back?

I’m fine. I’m just fine.  Lying in bed before starting the day:  I want to write. I want to be known. I want to be creative. I want to share. I want to love. I want to bond. Taking a shower: But I don’t want to spend time writing. I don’t like people to look at me. Being creative is difficult. I don’t like it when I share something and people don’t like it. I am too selfish to love fully. I like it when I get to be by myself. Cleaning the restroom for the five millionth time: I…

My, My, My, My Corona: I Wanna Dance With Somebody

It has officially been eight weeks of staying (relatively) away from the life I used to know and I think that (at this moment) I’m getting the hang of it. If you’ve been a follower of my corona virus themed posts you will know that I have not even remotely kept up my end of the bargain as far as all the writing I was promising you–the writing I was promising me. Some days I don’t give a flying fart and then other days I feel guilty and lazy for not taking advantage of all of the “free” time I…

My, My, My, My Corona: What Day Is It?

I think I lost my kid. At last sighting he was running to the bathroom for a mandated “we’re pretending to have a life” session of washing his face and brushing his teeth and hair but I haven’t seen him since. I imagine he’s holed up downstairs trading virtual Pokemon with any person with a pulse or settled into the couch, knee deep into today’s brain suck of YouTube videos. I feel kind of like a loser, knowing that I have left my kid to his own devices lately, but what the hell? Kid is “enjoying” his last day of…

My, My, My, My Corona: My, My, My, My Life is Boring

It was a beautiful moment. Me, alone in my Mulan t-shirt (no jacket covering it since no one was around to see my arms), my favorite sweats, a couple of toothbrushes, and a can of Comet. The bright light of the vanity stretched to the bathtub only to be blocked my enormous dirty hair bun as I tried to scrub the grime out of faded bathtub caulk. The dirt flowed down the inside of the tub in a wave pattern that could only be accurately compared to the sand of a beautiful beach in Mexico–ebbing and flowing it’s way back…

My, My, My, My Corona: You Might Be Asking Too Much

I admit that I’m probably more scared about the Covid-19 virus than many people (finding things to stress about is a personal specialty) and I’m really having a hard time dealing with the strain. Not only do I have to worry about my health and the health of my loved ones, but I also have to suddenly be responsible for meals and education and (gasp!) boredom. Don’t get me wrong–I deal with this stuff on a daily basis–but it has never been to starkly obvious to me that I am now the HBIC. My library has told me to stay…

I Can’t Turn My Head to the Right

My life has been taken over by an affliction so frustrating, so annoying and so ridiculous that I am putting in serious time thinking about how to cure myself once and for all. The crazy thing is– I cannot turn my head to the right. Really.  Oh, I’m not suffering from any kind of real physical problems (as far as I know) but I do have this way of thinking that causes me to react to certain situations in such a way that I am sure I end up looking like one of those city park sprinklers that keep click,…