You Want Me to Pay How Much to Have You Touch My Breast?!

I’m not one of those people who likes to go to the doctor’s office.  I mean, I don’t think there are really that many people that “like” going to the doctor but they’re more than ready to show up for their regular check-ups, give up two hours of life to sit in the pharmacy area, and pay for an office visit when they have a really bad head cold. I’m not one of those people.  I will stay home and puke in every empty vessel in the house before I even consider making the effort to visit the doctor. Of course,…

My (Not So) High Flying Adventure!

A few years ago I participated in one of the scariest events of my entire life.  I had spent the month before in agony trying to decide if I truly had what it took to be strong and attempt the bravest thing I would ever decide to do.  I knew that the payoff would be pride in the accomplishment, peace within myself and soaring to dizzying heights, but it was so hard to take the first step.  It was so hard to believe that it was finally possible…to try indoor skydiving. Exhilaration achieved without jumping out of a plane!  Doing…

Part Six: Just Don’t Make Eye Contact

Catch up with parts one-five of my fabulous Disney vacation here. The next day started off with the sun shining and birds singing and the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling the air of our lovely Disney hotel…Okay, that’s not completely accurate, but it was close enough. Both of us had managed to get a decent amount of sleep and we had tons of fun on the horizon. The sun wasn’t up yet, the birds were quiet and the coffee maker was brewing hot water for the packets of oatmeal we brought from home. And, most importantly, we were practically…

Part Five: There’s No Patience at Disney

Catch up with parts one-four of my Disney Adventures here. Let me just start this section of my story off by saying that the Disney Express Transportation is fantastic. As Greg and I traveled alone to Animal Kingdom it became very clear that we were going to see a part of Disney World that we had never seen before. What a sight it was, too: I’m talking cars and trucks and parking lots all around. Concrete everywhere you looked and quiet roads with hardly any traffic. Of course, it didn’t matter to me how many parking lots we were looking…

Part Four: Just Don’t Drop the Drink!

Catch up with parts one-three of my Disney Adventures here. The rain began innocently enough, but it was only a matter of time until we were under complete attack by the stinging pellets of precipitation that were streaking from the sky. Well, it was kind of just sprinkling a little harder, but I felt that it was turning into something personal. We had finally found the time to sit and take a breather (and get a little Star Wars action on) and our plans were now in jeopardy. Greg pointed out an unclaimed bench under a huge umbrella and we made a…

Part Three: Stop for a Rest? Puh-lease.

Catch up with parts one and two of my Disney Adventures here.   When it comes to dining at Disney there are only so many restaurants that I like to go to over and over again and one of those restaurants is Sanaa at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Years ago, when I was just starting to have the flames of my addiction fanned by people I met online, I would have never even known that there was anything of value going on outside of any of the theme park walls. I would probably still be buying pretzels and burgers and…

No, You Can’t Make Me Like the Birds

Birds suck.  I don’t have any flowery way to impart that information to you other than being completely honest.  I don’t like them.  Well…maybe just a little bit.  But they’re creepy and annoying and they stink to high hell.  It’s actually kind of funny that I am sitting here even talking about the little devils, but I’ve got an itch in my brain about this and there’s no going on in life if I don’t get it scratched. And it all started because of a lunatic goose that tried to take my hand off at the lake… Every once in…

Part Two: Does My Insurance Cover a Ride on Dinosaur?

Catch up with Part One of my Disney Adventures here.   I had a truly difficult time falling asleep because I was majorly keyed up, so I made use of Stacey and her “Must-Do” list to lull me in to semi-unconciousness. I guess it didn’t hurt that I had already watched Stacey on my computer at work (ad nauseam) for weeks and practically knew the script by heart. It gave my brain something else to do besides worry about the next day’s plans. For as late as we had stayed out the night before (really, it couldn’t have been past…

A Week in the Life of a Hungry Person

Tuesday- I have high hopes for today. I’ve been working out like crazy and have been keeping a good eye on my calories. Hardly any cheating. I know I need to stop worrying about getting on the scale every day but if I’m ever going to reach my goal, I am going to have to seriously work harder than I ever have in my life. It doesn’t help that I feel so old and that I can heard my knees creaking every time I walk down the stairs, but I have hope that I can turn things around. I’m glad…

The Great Head Debate

Get your mind out of the gutter, people.  (Okay, me too, because I totally went there.)  Anyway, I thought it was high time to take a moment to look back on what has to be one of the most egregious gaffes I ever had to endure as a child.  A mistake so large that I still find the time to bitch about it at least once a year (as I have for 30 plus years now) to the person most responsible for my broken heart—my mother (cue the bloodcurdling scream and the dun, dun, duuuuun)! What could possibly bring out…