I’m fine. I’m just fine. Lying in bed before starting the day: I want to write. I want to be known. I want to be creative. I want to share. I want to love. I want to bond. Taking a shower: But I don’t want to spend time writing. I don’t like people to look at me. Being creative is difficult. I don’t like it when I share something and people don’t like it. I am too selfish to love fully. I like it when I get to be by myself. Cleaning the restroom for the five millionth time: I…
It has officially been eight weeks of staying (relatively) away from the life I used to know and I think that (at this moment) I’m getting the hang of it. If you’ve been a follower of my corona virus themed posts you will know that I have not even remotely kept up my end of the bargain as far as all the writing I was promising you–the writing I was promising me. Some days I don’t give a flying fart and then other days I feel guilty and lazy for not taking advantage of all of the “free” time I…
I think I lost my kid. At last sighting he was running to the bathroom for a mandated “we’re pretending to have a life” session of washing his face and brushing his teeth and hair but I haven’t seen him since. I imagine he’s holed up downstairs trading virtual Pokemon with any person with a pulse or settled into the couch, knee deep into today’s brain suck of YouTube videos. I feel kind of like a loser, knowing that I have left my kid to his own devices lately, but what the hell? Kid is “enjoying” his last day of…
It was a beautiful moment. Me, alone in my Mulan t-shirt (no jacket covering it since no one was around to see my arms), my favorite sweats, a couple of toothbrushes, and a can of Comet. The bright light of the vanity stretched to the bathtub only to be blocked my enormous dirty hair bun as I tried to scrub the grime out of faded bathtub caulk. The dirt flowed down the inside of the tub in a wave pattern that could only be accurately compared to the sand of a beautiful beach in Mexico–ebbing and flowing it’s way back…
I admit that I’m probably more scared about the Covid-19 virus than many people (finding things to stress about is a personal specialty) and I’m really having a hard time dealing with the strain. Not only do I have to worry about my health and the health of my loved ones, but I also have to suddenly be responsible for meals and education and (gasp!) boredom. Don’t get me wrong–I deal with this stuff on a daily basis–but it has never been to starkly obvious to me that I am now the HBIC. My library has told me to stay…
Now that I’m a lot older and I’ve managed to get myself through many a ridiculous situation, I find myself thinking back on the “good old days.” You know, they days when my parents would let me roam around like a wild animal for hours at a time, hanging with God knew who, doing who knows what. Until this moment, I never really thought about why the parental units were more than happy to let me and my siblings explore the world without their constant surveillance and direction. I’d like to think that they were exercising great parental knowledge by…
He was the nicest boy I had ever met. He was handsome and smart, but most important of all, he would talk to me. We met in middle school and I was pretty much smitten from the very start. I can’t remember the exact day we came into first contact, but I do remember practically floating on a cloud whenever he came around me. I would try to sit by him in class, in the cafeteria, in the gymnasium, in the…you get the picture. Unfortunately, I was mired in my own insecurity issues and feelings of inadequacy (thank you tween…
A few years ago I participated in one of the scariest events of my entire life. I had spent the month before in agony trying to decide if I truly had what it took to be strong and attempt the bravest thing I would ever decide to do. I knew that the payoff would be pride in the accomplishment, peace within myself and soaring to dizzying heights, but it was so hard to take the first step. It was so hard to believe that it was finally possible…to try indoor skydiving. Exhilaration achieved without jumping out of a plane! Doing…
Catch up with parts one and two of my Disney Adventures here. When it comes to dining at Disney there are only so many restaurants that I like to go to over and over again and one of those restaurants is Sanaa at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Years ago, when I was just starting to have the flames of my addiction fanned by people I met online, I would have never even known that there was anything of value going on outside of any of the theme park walls. I would probably still be buying pretzels and burgers and…
I had a dream about a sandwich last night. A sandwich that I ate approximately 32 years ago. In a downtown park in Denver, outside of the Natural History Museum. Probably the best sandwich I ever had in my life. A perfectly perfect piece of edible art that will forever hold a place of honor in my mind. It could be probable that I remember that sandwich more than my own husband by the time I’m ninety. I can still smell it. Taste it. Feel it’s warmth in my hands. A sandwich that will never be recreated in the history…
a funny thing happened when I was learning myself 