Supermarket Diaries Part Two: Panties and Purple Pants

Catch the first part of the story here: Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time Grocery cart firmly in tow, I was ready to plunder the rest of the sale racks in the store. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but I was convinced that if I left without spending some money I was probably going to die. I worked my way to the fat (but not that fat) section and found what I had apparently been waiting for—racks and racks of pants. Dozens—nay, hundreds—of pairs of pants (my personal shopping nemesis) in every conceivable color (okay, maybe only…

All Camped Out (Part One)

I can still remember sitting outside in the back yard, seduced by the sweet summer air and half drunk on sun tea, when the suggestion of camping entered the conversation. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t heard the word several times already that summer, but it was the first time (in a very long time) that anyone actually used it in conjunction with “Do you want to go?” My inner lazy person screamed, “Oh, hell no!” but my outer ‘look at me I know how to have fun in the summer’ person thought it sounded like a lot of fun….

Manic Monday (aka I’m Too Old for This S***)

My mornings actually start at night. I cherish my time alone when the boys are asleep so much that I am willing to stay up until almost 2 o’clock in the morning on a work night. I will set up shop on my couch, watch at least one episode of Colbert or Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, take a quick ½ hour nap, eat a bowl (or two) of ice cream and then pretend I’m getting into shape by squeezing an hour on my elliptical while watching Fifty Shades of Grey. (Okay, I’m actually working out, but I’m not sure it counts…

My Most Embarrassing Moments, Part One

When I was in junior high, approximately nine thousand years ago, I was a young, shy, scared individual who thought that she was the center of the universe.  It’s not like I thought I was better than everyone—quite the opposite.  I just didn’t really give a shit about most of them.  Sounds terrible, right?  Well, it probably was, but it was also the truth.  I was too busy living my own drama that I didn’t have time to really spend too much time on anyone else.  I mean, I had a few friends, but I was never popular and I…