Part Two: Does My Insurance Cover a Ride on Dinosaur?

June 8, 2017June 19, 2017 Categories: Humor, Life, Observations · What A TripTags: author · blog · disney · disney world · funny · short story · vacation · walt disney world · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

Catch up with Part One of my Disney Adventures here. I had a truly difficult time falling asleep because I was majorly keyed up, so I made use of Stacey and her “Must-Do” list to lull me in to semi-unconciousness. I guess it didn’t hurt that I had already watched Stacey on my computer at work (ad nauseam) for weeks and practically knew the script by heart. It gave my brain something else to do besides worry about the next day’s plans. For as late as we had stayed out the night before (really, it couldn’t have been past…

A Week in the Life of a Hungry Person

March 14, 2017 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · blog · diary · funny · hungry · life · personal · thoughts · weight loss · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

Tuesday- I have high hopes for today. I’ve been working out like crazy and have been keeping a good eye on my calories. Hardly any cheating. I know I need to stop worrying about getting on the scale every day but if I’m ever going to reach my goal, I am going to have to seriously work harder than I ever have in my life. It doesn’t help that I feel so old and that I can heard my knees creaking every time I walk down the stairs, but I have hope that I can turn things around. I’m glad…

The Great Head Debate

January 28, 2017June 25, 2024 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · barbie · blog · blogging · funny · mom · personal · short story · wordpress · write · writing54 Comments

Get your mind out of the gutter, people. (Okay, me too, because I totally went there.) Anyway, I thought it was high time to take a moment to look back on what has to be one of the most egregious gaffes I ever had to endure as a child. A mistake so large that I still find the time to bitch about it at least once a year (as I have for 30 plus years now) to the person most responsible for my broken heart—my mother (cue the bloodcurdling scream and the dun, dun, duuuuun)! What could possibly bring out…

Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time

January 24, 2017 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · blog · blogging · funny · life · memory · random · shopping · short story · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

Okay, so I have this thing where if I have even twenty minutes to spare before I’m expected at work I head to the supermarket. But not just any average supermarket—I’m talking the deluxe version with sushi near one side of the building and a jewelry store near the other. Apparently there is something in my DNA that requires that I find something completely useless to buy every day to give my life validity. I’ve walked out with nothing (not that I didn’t try) and I’ve walked out with two bags filled of 80% off holiday items that I will…

I Knew He Loved Me (Conclusion)

October 27, 2016October 27, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · blog · feelings · friendship · funny · life · love · memory · personal · relationships · story · writingLeave a comment

Don’t forget the first part of the story: I Knew He Loved Me This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you that he had scribbled all over the paper doodling my name and drawing pictures of us holding hands, but that dream was pretty much the complete opposite of what I found. There were doodles all right, but not with my name– with another girl’s name. A girl from our class that I had never even seen him talk to—let alone ever imagined he would ever have feelings for. There were doodles all right. And there were about fifty different…

The Fire or the Spiders?

October 13, 2016October 13, 2016 Categories: Facing Fears · Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: anxiety · feelings · funny · memory · personal · random · short story · story · thoughts · wordpressLeave a comment

About a million years ago, when I still lived with my parents, I had a room down in the bowels of their house. It wasn’t exactly a scary place to live (Freddie Krueger wouldn’t be hanging down there at any rate) but it did sometimes have a lonely and abandoned feeling about it. Every once in a while it would explode with energy and life when we would have family parties celebrating birthdays and Super Bowls (thank you Denver Broncos!) but, for the most part, it sat lifeless and dark, just waiting for something spectacular to happen to bring it…

All Camped Out (Part Two)

August 16, 2016August 16, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: blog · blogging · emotions · family · funny · humor · moments · outdoors · post · short story · summer · wordpress · writingLeave a comment

Get caught up with the story : All Camped Out (Part One) We meandered (if a car can, indeed, meander) back to our camping spot and began the process of sorting everything out. Tent over there, sleeping bags over there, kid that is absolutely good for nothing and would rather run around a bush, over there…business was finally starting to get done and I was glad for it. The spot that we had rented was pretty nice and we were actually one of the few families that were going to be putting up a tent. Well, we were the only ones…

All Camped Out (Part One)

August 9, 2016August 9, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: blogger · events · funny · laughs · lol · opinion · people · personal · thoughts · writerLeave a comment

I can still remember sitting outside in the back yard, seduced by the sweet summer air and half drunk on sun tea, when the suggestion of camping entered the conversation. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t heard the word several times already that summer, but it was the first time (in a very long time) that anyone actually used it in conjunction with “Do you want to go?” My inner lazy person screamed, “Oh, hell no!” but my outer ‘look at me I know how to have fun in the summer’ person thought it sounded like a lot of fun….

Bite Me

June 30, 2016June 30, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: blog · blogging · dentist · funny · life · non-fiction · personal · short story · smile · thoughts · wordpress · write · writing24 Comments

Twice a year I find myself engaged in one of the most uncomfortable activities known to man or womanhood—getting my teeth cleaned. Even though my head knows that it is something that has to be done in order to remain healthy, I find myself fighting over the very idea of making that trip to my dentist’s office. It would seem more normal to say that I don’t want to go because I’m afraid of the drill, or that I’d just rather jam a toothpick in my gums rather than bite on that obnoxious piece of plastic when I’m taking x-rays,…

And so It Begins–A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms

May 2, 2016May 2, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · blog · blogging · diet · funny · life · nonfiction · shopping · short story · summer · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

Isn’t it amazing how quickly a day can change from one of the smoothest experiences you’ve ever had to the biggest downer of the century? Actually, I bet it’s not that amazing because I’m guessing that most of us have those kinds of days several times a month. Maybe more. And if you don’t, we need to have a chat, because I need to learn your every secret. You have evidently mastered life and I must emulate you in every way possible. I hope to someday become one of you. But until then, I must dwell in the land of mediocrity…

a funny thing happened when I was learning myself

(stories you never knew you wanted to read)

Tag: funny