Part Two: Does My Insurance Cover a Ride on Dinosaur?

Catch up with Part One of my Disney Adventures here.   I had a truly difficult time falling asleep because I was majorly keyed up, so I made use of Stacey and her “Must-Do” list to lull me in to semi-unconciousness. I guess it didn’t hurt that I had already watched Stacey on my computer at work (ad nauseam) for weeks and practically knew the script by heart. It gave my brain something else to do besides worry about the next day’s plans. For as late as we had stayed out the night before (really, it couldn’t have been past…

Disney World and the Cupcake Line of Doom

It’s always interesting when I start getting revved up to go on a vacation. There are the last minutes of getting everything I need gathered (as if where I’m going couldn’t possibly have sunscreen or deodorant, should I forget them) and the long nights I spend thinking through my plans step by step by step. While there is a certain amount of excitement and anticipation, there is an equal amount of worry that gets me so churned up physically that I either have to resort to dark rooms and quiet breathing or an extra-large container of Tums. Either way, when…

Mini Musings- I’m Only Doing This Because I Have To

I haven’t been able to write much lately. Not because I don’t like writing (I don’t think) but because I’ve turned into this lazy monster that would rather spend my days lounging like Jabba the Hutt than doing anything remotely like moving forward. Wait, scratch that. I don’t think I would rather spend my days as a modern day Jabba, it’s just the way things have been turning out. Every time I manage to get something down on paper and then go through the extra steps of posting it onto my blog I feel like I have conquered Everest. I…

Supermarket Diaries Part Two: Panties and Purple Pants

Catch the first part of the story here: Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time Grocery cart firmly in tow, I was ready to plunder the rest of the sale racks in the store. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but I was convinced that if I left without spending some money I was probably going to die. I worked my way to the fat (but not that fat) section and found what I had apparently been waiting for—racks and racks of pants. Dozens—nay, hundreds—of pairs of pants (my personal shopping nemesis) in every conceivable color (okay, maybe only…

The Great Head Debate

Get your mind out of the gutter, people.  (Okay, me too, because I totally went there.)  Anyway, I thought it was high time to take a moment to look back on what has to be one of the most egregious gaffes I ever had to endure as a child.  A mistake so large that I still find the time to bitch about it at least once a year (as I have for 30 plus years now) to the person most responsible for my broken heart—my mother (cue the bloodcurdling scream and the dun, dun, duuuuun)! What could possibly bring out…

Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time

Okay, so I have this thing where if I have even twenty minutes to spare before I’m expected at work I head to the supermarket. But not just any average supermarket—I’m talking the deluxe version with sushi near one side of the building and a jewelry store near the other. Apparently there is something in my DNA that requires that I find something completely useless to buy every day to give my life validity. I’ve walked out with nothing (not that I didn’t try) and I’ve walked out with two bags filled of 80% off holiday items that I will…

The Fire or the Spiders?

About a million years ago, when I still lived with my parents, I had a room down in the bowels of their house. It wasn’t exactly a scary place to live (Freddie Krueger wouldn’t be hanging down there at any rate) but it did sometimes have a lonely and abandoned feeling about it. Every once in a while it would explode with energy and life when we would have family parties celebrating birthdays and Super Bowls (thank you Denver Broncos!) but, for the most part, it sat lifeless and dark, just waiting for something spectacular to happen to bring it…

All Camped Out (Part Two)

Get caught up with the story : All Camped Out (Part One) We meandered (if a car can, indeed, meander) back to our camping spot and began the process of sorting everything out. Tent over there, sleeping bags over there, kid that is absolutely good for nothing and would rather run around a bush, over there…business was finally starting to get done and I was glad for it. The spot that we had rented was pretty nice and we were actually one of the few families that were going to be putting up a tent. Well, we were the only ones…

That One Day I Talked to My Shoes

I finally found the time to run out into the world and buy myself a new pair of running shoes.  Not walking shoes or trainers, but straight up running shoes.  Why? Because I hope to someday not be so fat that I no longer have the capability of keeping up with my ten year old child.  Someone out there might be thinking, “A new pair of running shoes?” as if they couldn’t possibly picture me doing anything more athletic than walking my dog (slowly) around the block and I, quite honestly, couldn’t blame them for thinking that.  I don’t exactly live…

Bite Me

Twice a year I find myself engaged in one of the most uncomfortable activities known to man or womanhood—getting my teeth cleaned.  Even though my head knows that it is something that has to be done in order to remain healthy, I find myself fighting over the very idea of making that trip to my dentist’s office.  It would seem more normal to say that I don’t want to go because I’m afraid of the drill, or that I’d just rather jam a toothpick in my gums rather than bite on that obnoxious piece of plastic when I’m taking x-rays,…