Supermarket Diaries Part One: Just Killing Time

Okay, so I have this thing where if I have even twenty minutes to spare before I’m expected at work I head to the supermarket. But not just any average supermarket—I’m talking the deluxe version with sushi near one side of the building and a jewelry store near the other. Apparently there is something in my DNA that requires that I find something completely useless to buy every day to give my life validity. I’ve walked out with nothing (not that I didn’t try) and I’ve walked out with two bags filled of 80% off holiday items that I will…

The Fire or the Spiders?

About a million years ago, when I still lived with my parents, I had a room down in the bowels of their house. It wasn’t exactly a scary place to live (Freddie Krueger wouldn’t be hanging down there at any rate) but it did sometimes have a lonely and abandoned feeling about it. Every once in a while it would explode with energy and life when we would have family parties celebrating birthdays and Super Bowls (thank you Denver Broncos!) but, for the most part, it sat lifeless and dark, just waiting for something spectacular to happen to bring it…

All Camped Out (Part Two)

Get caught up with the story : All Camped Out (Part One) We meandered (if a car can, indeed, meander) back to our camping spot and began the process of sorting everything out. Tent over there, sleeping bags over there, kid that is absolutely good for nothing and would rather run around a bush, over there…business was finally starting to get done and I was glad for it. The spot that we had rented was pretty nice and we were actually one of the few families that were going to be putting up a tent. Well, we were the only ones…

That One Day I Talked to My Shoes

I finally found the time to run out into the world and buy myself a new pair of running shoes.  Not walking shoes or trainers, but straight up running shoes.  Why? Because I hope to someday not be so fat that I no longer have the capability of keeping up with my ten year old child.  Someone out there might be thinking, “A new pair of running shoes?” as if they couldn’t possibly picture me doing anything more athletic than walking my dog (slowly) around the block and I, quite honestly, couldn’t blame them for thinking that.  I don’t exactly live…

Bite Me

Twice a year I find myself engaged in one of the most uncomfortable activities known to man or womanhood—getting my teeth cleaned.  Even though my head knows that it is something that has to be done in order to remain healthy, I find myself fighting over the very idea of making that trip to my dentist’s office.  It would seem more normal to say that I don’t want to go because I’m afraid of the drill, or that I’d just rather jam a toothpick in my gums rather than bite on that obnoxious piece of plastic when I’m taking x-rays,…

Vacations Give the Loveliest Headaches

A vacation is an adventure that always starts off so exciting with thoughts of perfect travel, exciting experiences and wonderful fresh food that surely await me when I get to my point of destination–in this case, the Big Island of Hawaii. Getting to sleep the night before leaving is one big giant game to be played between myself and myself, trying to convince my excited brain that if I don’t go to sleep right now, I am going to be a miserable crab the next morning.  Sometimes my brain gives me a break and lets me go, but more often…

Mini Musings—Thank Goodness I Have My Words

As I was wasting my life away on that time suck that is facebook, I came across a meme/photo/thing that describes me pretty well: I’m pretty quick to pass on different curiosities that cross my beloved laptop screen, but this one sort of stopped me in my tracks.  Its succinctness in describing my life can only be described as miraculous.  Now don’t get me wrong, you can’t really shut me up once I get going verbally, but when I get a keyboard in front of me we’re talking about a whole new dimension. My job as a children’s librarian requires…

When Expectations Hit the Fan—A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms

And so It Begins–A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms (Part One) Continued… After spending a few minutes looking for someone that looked like they had keys on them, I (sheepishly) realized that the door to the dressing room was unlocked.  I mentally slapped myself upside the head and continued with the task I had set myself up for—complete thrift store domination.  The signs said five items per room and I said, “Kiss my grits.” I shoved all of my precious items inside of the dressing room, hoarding like I was Gollum.  I have this irrational (or maybe all too real)…

And so It Begins–A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms

Isn’t it amazing how quickly a day can change from one of the smoothest experiences you’ve ever had to the biggest downer of the century? Actually, I bet it’s not that amazing because I’m guessing that most of us have those kinds of days several times a month.  Maybe more.  And if you don’t, we need to have a chat, because I need to learn your every secret. You have evidently mastered life and I must emulate you in every way possible. I hope to someday become one of you. But until then, I must dwell in the land of mediocrity…

And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Three

Continued from- And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part One And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Two Tutor was put out to the public with just a little fanfare and was instantly loved by everyone.  People wanted to hold him all of the time, but I wasn’t down for that and kept telling people “someday” he would be ready for that kind of turtle/library customer relationship.  I stressed over the tank, and the fact that I couldn’t quite get the filter to work correctly.  A once pristine tank was now cloudy and dirty and I…