Happy Birthday to the Bestest Kid in the World–You Complete Me

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Today marks ten years since my son came physically into my life.  He had a stronghold on me way before I held him in my arms, but September 21 was the first time I could put a face to the person that until that moment I blamed for all of my personal discomfort.  He was squishy and red and looked too damn much like his dad that I was actually questioning whether he was actually mine.  He didn’t come into the world easily (I had a c-section) but I would have done it a million times more just to be able to finally…

All Camped Out (Finale)

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Get caught up with the story : All Camped Out (Part One) and All Camped Out (Part Two) Now, I admit that I have never been the kind of person that ever looked twice at an RV. When I used to camp a lot with aunts and uncles back in the day, they had their small traveling houses but we were hardly ever let inside. It wasn’t until I was in middle school that my dad was able to scrape enough money to bring a little version home. And I do mean little—nothing like the behemoths that are on the road now. The…

All Camped Out (Part Two)

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Get caught up with the story : All Camped Out (Part One) We meandered (if a car can, indeed, meander) back to our camping spot and began the process of sorting everything out. Tent over there, sleeping bags over there, kid that is absolutely good for nothing and would rather run around a bush, over there…business was finally starting to get done and I was glad for it. The spot that we had rented was pretty nice and we were actually one of the few families that were going to be putting up a tent. Well, we were the only ones…

All Camped Out (Part One)

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I can still remember sitting outside in the back yard, seduced by the sweet summer air and half drunk on sun tea, when the suggestion of camping entered the conversation. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t heard the word several times already that summer, but it was the first time (in a very long time) that anyone actually used it in conjunction with “Do you want to go?” My inner lazy person screamed, “Oh, hell no!” but my outer ‘look at me I know how to have fun in the summer’ person thought it sounded like a lot of fun….

I Want Your Attention but Stop Looking at Me!

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Hello to you all!  This is a piece that has been written a couple of different ways and has been very difficult to finish.  I tried to explain my head space about this in a previous post and it was really difficult to pick up and continue with how I had originally started. I hope it doesn’t come off too rambling! I want to give a big thank you to everyone who voted on the survey I created about a week ago, voting on what my next post should be. I appreciate you taking the time to participate! You.  Yeah…

That One Day I Talked to My Shoes

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I finally found the time to run out into the world and buy myself a new pair of running shoes.  Not walking shoes or trainers, but straight up running shoes.  Why? Because I hope to someday not be so fat that I no longer have the capability of keeping up with my ten year old child.  Someone out there might be thinking, “A new pair of running shoes?” as if they couldn’t possibly picture me doing anything more athletic than walking my dog (slowly) around the block and I, quite honestly, couldn’t blame them for thinking that.  I don’t exactly live…

Bite Me

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Twice a year I find myself engaged in one of the most uncomfortable activities known to man or womanhood—getting my teeth cleaned.  Even though my head knows that it is something that has to be done in order to remain healthy, I find myself fighting over the very idea of making that trip to my dentist’s office.  It would seem more normal to say that I don’t want to go because I’m afraid of the drill, or that I’d just rather jam a toothpick in my gums rather than bite on that obnoxious piece of plastic when I’m taking x-rays,…

Manic Monday (aka I’m Too Old for This S***)

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My mornings actually start at night. I cherish my time alone when the boys are asleep so much that I am willing to stay up until almost 2 o’clock in the morning on a work night. I will set up shop on my couch, watch at least one episode of Colbert or Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, take a quick ½ hour nap, eat a bowl (or two) of ice cream and then pretend I’m getting into shape by squeezing an hour on my elliptical while watching Fifty Shades of Grey. (Okay, I’m actually working out, but I’m not sure it counts…

Vacations Give the Loveliest Headaches

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A vacation is an adventure that always starts off so exciting with thoughts of perfect travel, exciting experiences and wonderful fresh food that surely await me when I get to my point of destination–in this case, the Big Island of Hawaii. Getting to sleep the night before leaving is one big giant game to be played between myself and myself, trying to convince my excited brain that if I don’t go to sleep right now, I am going to be a miserable crab the next morning.  Sometimes my brain gives me a break and lets me go, but more often…

When Expectations Hit the Fan—A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms

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And so It Begins–A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms (Part One) Continued… After spending a few minutes looking for someone that looked like they had keys on them, I (sheepishly) realized that the door to the dressing room was unlocked.  I mentally slapped myself upside the head and continued with the task I had set myself up for—complete thrift store domination.  The signs said five items per room and I said, “Kiss my grits.” I shoved all of my precious items inside of the dressing room, hoarding like I was Gollum.  I have this irrational (or maybe all too real)…