That One Day I Talked to My Shoes

I finally found the time to run out into the world and buy myself a new pair of running shoes. Not walking shoes or trainers, but straight up running shoes. Why? Because I hope to someday not be so fat that I no longer have the capability of keeping up with my ten year old child. Someone out there might be thinking, “A new pair of running shoes?” as if they couldn’t possibly picture me doing anything more athletic than walking my dog (slowly) around the block and I, quite honestly, couldn’t blame them for thinking that. I don’t exactly live…

Bite Me

June 30, 2016June 30, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: blog · blogging · dentist · funny · life · non-fiction · personal · short story · smile · thoughts · wordpress · write · writing24 Comments

Twice a year I find myself engaged in one of the most uncomfortable activities known to man or womanhood—getting my teeth cleaned. Even though my head knows that it is something that has to be done in order to remain healthy, I find myself fighting over the very idea of making that trip to my dentist’s office. It would seem more normal to say that I don’t want to go because I’m afraid of the drill, or that I’d just rather jam a toothpick in my gums rather than bite on that obnoxious piece of plastic when I’m taking x-rays,…

Manic Monday (aka I’m Too Old for This S***)

June 22, 2016June 22, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: about · blog · blogging · family · home · humor · laughs · nonfiction · people · smiles · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

My mornings actually start at night. I cherish my time alone when the boys are asleep so much that I am willing to stay up until almost 2 o’clock in the morning on a work night. I will set up shop on my couch, watch at least one episode of Colbert or Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, take a quick ½ hour nap, eat a bowl (or two) of ice cream and then pretend I’m getting into shape by squeezing an hour on my elliptical while watching Fifty Shades of Grey. (Okay, I’m actually working out, but I’m not sure it counts…

Vacations Give the Loveliest Headaches

June 6, 2016June 6, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, Observations · What A TripTags: airport · blog · blogging · humor · life · nonfiction · short story · travel · true story · vacation · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

A vacation is an adventure that always starts off so exciting with thoughts of perfect travel, exciting experiences and wonderful fresh food that surely await me when I get to my point of destination–in this case, the Big Island of Hawaii. Getting to sleep the night before leaving is one big giant game to be played between myself and myself, trying to convince my excited brain that if I don’t go to sleep right now, I am going to be a miserable crab the next morning. Sometimes my brain gives me a break and lets me go, but more often…

Mini Musings—Thank Goodness I Have My Words

May 17, 2016May 17, 2016 Categories: Mini MusingsTags: biography · blog · blogging · life · mini musings · pondering · questions · short story · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

As I was wasting my life away on that time suck that is facebook, I came across a meme/photo/thing that describes me pretty well: I’m pretty quick to pass on different curiosities that cross my beloved laptop screen, but this one sort of stopped me in my tracks. Its succinctness in describing my life can only be described as miraculous. Now don’t get me wrong, you can’t really shut me up once I get going verbally, but when I get a keyboard in front of me we’re talking about a whole new dimension. My job as a children’s librarian requires…

Expectations = PreMeditated Resentments

May 3, 2016May 3, 2016 Categories: ShareablesTags: advice · blog · expectations · reblog · resentment · wordpress · writingLeave a comment

Originally posted on along the side of the road:
? Ever order a steak in a restaurant as medium-rare and it gets served to you as well done? Ever ask your teen in the morning to do the dishes and come home from work and they’re not done? Ever go to drive somewhere and it takes you twice as long because of construction? Ever do tons of exercise and get on the scale 2 weeks later to find the numbers haven’t budged? Ever go to your doctor for a routine wax cleanout and leave with a surgery date in hand?…

And so It Begins–A Tale of Two Dressing Rooms

May 2, 2016May 2, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · blog · blogging · diet · funny · life · nonfiction · shopping · short story · summer · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

Isn’t it amazing how quickly a day can change from one of the smoothest experiences you’ve ever had to the biggest downer of the century? Actually, I bet it’s not that amazing because I’m guessing that most of us have those kinds of days several times a month. Maybe more. And if you don’t, we need to have a chat, because I need to learn your every secret. You have evidently mastered life and I must emulate you in every way possible. I hope to someday become one of you. But until then, I must dwell in the land of mediocrity…

Adult Slumber Parties–learning to adult

April 18, 2016April 18, 2016 Categories: ShareablesTags: adult sleepovers · blog · blogging · friends · fun · party · Shareables · sleepovers · wordpressLeave a comment

Hey everyone! In the spirit of trying to get my mind off of unpleasant things going on in my life right now, I felt the need to look for something fun and distracting to follow. I found the perfect blog post that shows EXACTLY what I need in my life. Thank you to learningtoadult for the fun post! Sleepovers: Where you spend the night at a friends house, usually girls, aged 9-late teens. Though boys have sleepovers but they call it “spending the night” at someones house. Has absolutely nothing to do with any sexual activities. -Urban Dictionary Slumber parties are…

And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Three

April 13, 2016April 13, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · biography · blog · blogging · funny · library · life · short story · story · turtle · wordpress · write · writingLeave a comment

Continued from- And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part One And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Two Tutor was put out to the public with just a little fanfare and was instantly loved by everyone. People wanted to hold him all of the time, but I wasn’t down for that and kept telling people “someday” he would be ready for that kind of turtle/library customer relationship. I stressed over the tank, and the fact that I couldn’t quite get the filter to work correctly. A once pristine tank was now cloudy and dirty and I…

And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part Two

April 12, 2016April 12, 2016 Categories: Humor, Life, ObservationsTags: author · biography · blog · blogging · funny · library · life · pets · short story · story · turtle · wordpess · write · writingLeave a comment

Continued from And People Still Let Me Near Their Kids: Part One I kept putting off the final decision and was beginning to think that I might get away with not getting a library pet after all when the aforementioned friend of the library told us about a little turtle that she wasn’t going to be able to take with her when she moved to another town. Of course, I knew nothing about turtles (and heaven forbid I actually do decent research at my place of business) but felt that it was the kind of animal I would be able…

a funny thing happened when I was learning myself

(stories you never knew you wanted to read)

Tag: blog